Finances and Your Marriage
Finances. Finances are tricky. They are hard for some people to manage even when all they have to do is manage their own. But, when you add another person into the mix, such as your spouse, finances can get even trickier. In fact, 21% of divorced people cited finances as the reason for their split. How can you make your marriage stronger to withstand the stressors that finances can bring? Continue reading for more information on finances and your marriage.
Managing Finances Together
The first thing to talk about is what finances mean to each of you. How do you each feel about money? What was the role of money in your childhood? How do each of you feel about spending? How much spending is too much? How do each of you feel about saving? How much should you save?
The second way to ease financial tensions in your marriage is communication. Life can get super busy with kids, work, friends, and so on, but you need to make time to talk with each other about your finances. This doesn’t have to be stressful and uptight. Make it fun couple time to chat! Make sure that this time is free of distractions such as phones and children. During this time it is important that you each of you talk about your feelings related to finances. When I say feelings I don’t just mean your opinion about something, but also how spending and saving actually makes you feel! Be respectful and open to what your partner has to say. Get curious! Ask your partner what they think about something and try to understand where they are coming from.
Popular Financial Strategies for Couples
Figure out how you want to combine or separate your money. Some of my couples combine their money. Others choose to keep their money separate. Others do a combo of these two and other couples just split their financial life 50/50.
Combining your money requires mutual trust, respect and efficient communication. If your relationship is lacking any of these qualities, resentment will build between the two of you. This is a more traditional approach to money and finances but with the right couple and tools this method can be really wonderful.
The idea of having a mutual account where each of you put a percentage of your income into an account that is set up for bills and/or play money is a financial strategy that seems to work well for some couples. This allows each individual within the relationship to contribute to the pot while maintain financial independence at the same time.
Another strategy is to just simply split everything 50/50. This seems to work well for couples who want to feel equally financially responsible in the relationship.
Finances are so important to talk and communicate about, but most couples are more comfortable talking about their sexual life than they are about finances! Don’t be one of the 21% of the people who divorce over finances! Talk, Talk, Talk!!!
You might also be interested in reading these other articles by Dr. Erika regarding communication and marriage.
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