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Falling in love

Falling in love is a beautiful thing. You finally meet someone who makes your heart skip a beat. You have so many things in common. You light up when you see your person. You feel like everything is wonderful and you are on top of the world. How does this happen? Can it last?

How we fall in love

What is the science behind falling in love? Well, when you fall in love your brain experiences and releases a bunch of different chemicals. It feels like a rush! Euphoric actually. Your brain releases dopamine which is responsible for pleasure. Adrenaline, also known as epinephrine is the fight or flight hormone. It is responsible for that “I can’t stop thinking about that person” feeling. Norepinephrine is the hormone that is responsible for your excitement for your partner. In the beginning of a relationship all of these hormones work together in your brain to give you that euphoric feeling of falling in love.

Settling in

As our relationship matures these hormones are not released as intensely. We get used to our partner being around. We begin to grow comfortable with each other. As we grow increasingly comfortable with each other we get used to having the other person around and no longer attend to our relationship the way that we once did. Maybe we assume that the relationship is established and isn’t going anywhere. As with anything, the things that grow are the things that we put our focus and attention to.

Think about this… you plant a beautiful garden. You step back to admire your work (falling in love). Then you admire it but do not attend to it. (The comfortable stage of love.) As time goes on weeds begin to grow. (Falling out of love.) Your garden isn’t so pretty anymore. It has been neglected.

Can you fall back in love after your relationship has been neglected and “weeds” have grown?

How to fall back in love

How do you fall back in love with your partner? Is this even possible? Yes it is! It may not be easy but with work and intention you can get the loving feelings back again. Remember whatever has your focus and attention will grow! The most important thing about falling back in love is positive thoughts and positive thinking. Remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place. Start reminiscing about the good old days, fun times. Be thankful and aware of the good. Being critical will only destroy your relationship. When we look for the bad we will find it. Let the little things slide. Give each other grace. If we look to find the good in our partner, it will heighten our awareness of our partner’s good. Take the time to let your partner know that you appreciate them. Show and feel gratitude for your partner and your relationship. Giving good in your relationship will help to make the good grow in your relationship. (Remember the garden idea?)

Take time to have fun together. Life is so serious. Normal life can be exhausting and routine. Take time to connect together. Take time to “BE” together. Spice things up. Have fun together. Laugh together. Do things that are different and out of your normal routine. Have experiences together. It will give you something new to talk about and something new to connect over. It will increase what you have in common.

Reconnecting with your partner can be very challenging but it is not impossible. Take the time to tend to your relationship, make your garden grow! Make your relationship a priority. Believe me, you won’t regret it!